Back in 2012, I was an expecting mother to my second child.
It was a boy who we were going to name Preston. He was going to be an adored little brother and son, he was going to be raised with so much love. We would teach him how to be a productive member of society, we were going to show him how to be a kind and caring individual, and we wanted for him to live a happy and fulfilled life. Excitement was in our house as my husband and our 4-year-old daughter prepared for his arrival.
Then it happened. Doctors began to whisper in the next room, we were called in for extra tests, we were sent out of town to follow up with specialists. They talked me into getting an amniocentesis, which I never wanted. Everyone seemed so upset, so mad at me that I never had prenatal testing done. Hurtful comments about my lack of “options” now that I was 34 weeks along. A few days later, I got a phone call to please bring my husband and come into the doctor’s office that afternoon. I was told my son had a 90-percent chance of having Down Syndrome. We were in shock and it seemed like the perfect world we imagined for our son was crumbling around us.
Thoughts of confusion and sadness ran through my head. What was my son’s life going to look like now that he may have Down Syndrome? I cried thinking about how my daughter and he would never be close like I had envisioned. It seemed like all that we had dreamed for him was now so unachievable because, well the doctors said he most likely would have Down Syndrome. They know what they are talking about; they went to medical school and learned all about this diagnosis. What did I know?
Let us fast-forward five years later…..I have an amazing son. He is healthy, he is kind, and he brings us so much joy. He teaches us how to work hard to overcome milestones that are difficult. He shows us what determination looks like. He has so much compassion for others. He is a spectacular little brother and an amazing person. He goes to preschool and all the children there love him. He is one of the most popular people I know. He makes us laugh so hard and brings so much joy into not only our lives, but the lives of others. Oh and he happens to have Down Syndrome. In reality, our son has had some extra struggles but overall this journey has been AWESOME!
Most days, I do not really think about the fact that he has Down Syndrome. He is just my son and a wonderful one at that. I cannot even imagine him being any more perfect than he is now. All those things I dreamed about my unborn baby being, he is and will be all that plus more. Down Syndrome has not changed that. I truly believe our family has been given a gift.
Those doctors were wrong. We did have options, just not the options they had in mind. We could have chosen to be unhappy, to not dream big, to give up on our son. Instead, we decided not to place limits on him. We chose to encourage him to live up to his full potential, to take this wonderful surprise and love him fiercely. To be his advocate and teach others about how wonderful people like him really are.
I do not want anyone to look at another expectant mother of a child with Down Syndrome and think, “Oh you poor thing.” It is so not reality. We all became better versions of ourselves after Preston was born. We smile more, love harder and have become much stronger as individuals and as a family. We all have a stronger understanding and passion for those with special needs.
October is Down Syndrome Awareness month, and I wanted to share this part of our story with you. I do this in hopes of spreading awareness of what life with Down Syndrome is really like, and expelling some of the myths associated with this diagnosis.
There have been some recent and disturbing news stories that have emerged regarding the country of Iceland eliminating Down Syndrome through abortion. Also, we now have a 90-percent abortion rate of babies diagnosed prenatally with Down Syndrome. This makes my heart hurt in so many ways, and I thought it was important to spread the word that some of the most wonderful, kind, and graceful people I know have Down Syndrome.
It continues to baffle and sadden me why anyone would want to eliminate these individuals who have so much to offer society. A child with Down Syndrome may not have been what we expected but it was exactly what was missing from our lives. Preston has shown us that life is better with a little something extra!
