ETIQUETTE: Are some common rules of etiquette outdated in modern society?

We saw a conversation (what a strange turn of phrase!) on social media about dressing up for air travel. Some older folks said they always had, while younger folks argued that with searches by TSA and security checks, it’s easier to wear comfortable clothes.

Maybe it’s become a matter of personal preference.

That made us start thinking about other rules, like men wearing hats inside or at a dining table. Google says that’s no longer a rule, since few places have coat check stations. We know we’re not above asking men at the table to remove their hats.

Some etiquette rules we’re glad to see go.

For example, men are no longer expected to always pay for meals. Often, people “Go Dutch,” or the one who does the inviting pays. And it is certainly not expected for a man to order for a woman. A majority of women are in the workforce now, and have their own incomes, and often prefer making their own decisions.

What about holding a door? We think the first person to the door should hold it for the next, regardless of gender. That shouldn’t be just a man’s job. (And we always say ‘thank you.’)

There are other rules we never really understood, like not wearing white after Labor Day. Legend says it was an arbitrary rule implemented by the social elite to stand out from the nouveau riche. Fa fa. Perhaps it depends on the circles one travels in as to whether this matters.

Never toast with water. This is actually more of a superstition, but etiquette says it’s fine if water is the only thing available. 

We think please and thank you go a long way in most situations.