COLD CASE: Buffalo has seen some things.

Lake‑effect walls of snow.

Winds strong enough to relocate patio furniture to Canada.

Bills fans willingly jumping through flaming tables.

But this past week, Western New York was united by something even more bewildering: a blue BMW from Delaware that became a full‑scale ice sculpture on the shores of Lake Erie.

The car — windows down, doors unlocked and apparently abandoned in the most Buffalo location imaginable — sat parked near Hoak’s Lakeshore Restaurant in Hamburg, directly in the splash zone of a storm that brought hurricane‑force winds and lake‑effect snow.

The placement is what gets us — the exact stretch of shoreline that turns into a splash‑zone ice factory every time Lake Erie gets irritated. Someone knew the weather. Someone knew the wind direction. Someone knew exactly what would happen.

Hamburg Police later confirmed the car had been reported stolen, which raises several questions, none of which have satisfying answers. Most importantly, who hates this BMW enough to give it a Viking funeral by ice?

Because let’s be honest — this wasn’t random. This was strategic placement. This was meteorological pettiness. This was someone who knows Buffalo weather like a local grandma knows when to put the sauce on simmer.

If revenge is a dish best served cold, then this was served Buffalo cold — with a side of lake spray and a wind chill that could peel paint.

The frozen Beemer quickly became a tourist attraction. People stopped for photos. Outlets across the country picked up the story. Hoak’s reported steady foot traffic from visitors who came for the frozen luxury sedan and stayed for the fish fry.