Family dog casts a shadow over baby’s imminent arrival
Dear Abby
Lifestyles
September 1, 2025

Family dog casts a shadow over baby’s imminent arrival

DEAR ABBY: My husband and I just found out we are to become grandparents in seven months. We are very excited, and I can’t wait to spend time with my new grandchild. The plan is for me to spend two to three weeks with my daughter after the baby comes, to help them rest and settle into a daily routine.

The problem is, I am scared to death of one of her dogs. “Bruno” is large, unpredictable and not well-trained, and I believe he would bite me if given a chance. My daughter loves Bruno and is “sure” he would never hurt me. How do we deal with this potentially disastrous situation?

I want everything to be special when meeting and bonding with our grandbaby, but I’m not sure how to approach my fear of her dog. Our daughter’s feelings get hurt easily, and I don’t want to jeopardize our relationship or one with the new baby. What should I do? — AFRAID IN COLORADO

DEAR AFRAID: Tell your daughter (again) how much you are looking forward to helping her at this special time and getting to know your grandchild. Then ask if it would be possible for her to confine Bruno during your visit. It would be terrible if her dog jumped on you and caused you to fall, and disastrous if it should happen while you are holding the baby. Then hope she sees the wisdom, or you will have to decline her request for help when they bring the baby home from the hospital.

DEAR ABBY: I am 85 and dating a man, “Larry,” who is 62. For the last 25 years we have become good platonic friends doing community charity and church volunteer work. During this time, I also took care of my husband, who was suffering from Alzheimer’s for 12 years. Five years ago, my husband died, which left me totally alone. Two years ago, Larry, a lifelong bachelor, asked me out. We get along wonderfully and eventually fell in love.

I’m a young 85, and Larry is quiet and reserved. My problem is, I can’t get over the age difference. I feel like everyone is judging us because of it, and we have never actually discussed it. Truthfully, I’m frightened to death of the subject.

We are both financially secure. We look the same age and are both Christians. We are involved with community activities and help charities meet financial goals, feed the poor, etc. We trust one another and have similar core values and integrity. So, Abby, please give me your advice. There isn’t anyone I can ask who would be impartial. — JUST A NUMBER? IN PENNSYLVANIA

DEAR ‘JUST’: I’m glad you asked. If you and Larry love each other and share similar values, you would have to be crazy to permit what “people might say” to destroy what you have together. You haven’t said he has proposed marriage. If he does, more the better. No one has a contract with God. You are 85 years young. Please enjoy the years you have left to the fullest, and don’t be ashamed of doing it.

(Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.)

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