DEAR ABBY: I was once a stay-at-home wife. I did all the cooking, housekeeping, etc. Due to a downturn in the industry where my husband was a highly paid executive, he returned to a health-care career using his bachelor’s degree. I returned to work in a well-paying but demanding job.

So now I cook, we eat. He sits down to watch TV, and I clean while watching TV. When I ask for help, he accuses me of being a nag. I’m growing more and more depressed over this. Advice, please. — FEELING DOWN IN THE SOUTH

DEAR FEELING DOWN: You married an old-fashioned guy. He worked while you “kept the home fires burning.” When reality hit and you needed to rejoin the workforce, he forgot the principle of “each according to his ability, each according to his need.” 

Your darling needs a cold dose of reality. Times have changed, and he’s not doing his fair share. Remind him so you can work out a more equitable agreement.

P.S. You may be more tired from doing double duty than depressed. Think about it.

DEAR ABBY: I am a giver by nature. This is how I show my love. I like to cook, knit, sew and buy gifts for the people who matter most to me. I have recently noticed that when I buy gifts for my fiance, he looks them up to see how much I paid for them. He isn’t doing this to say I spent too little, but rather to say I spend “way too much” on him.

I consider what he’s been doing to be rude, and I told him so. I also told him it is none of his business how much I spent on him. Am I wrong? — GIVING OF MYSELF IN ILLINOIS

DEAR GIVING: I think you overreacted by becoming defensive. Rather than scold your fiance because he chided you for spending the amount you have on his gifts, it could have been handled more delicately. All you needed to say was, “To me you are priceless. I get great pleasure when I find something I think you can use and will enjoy. Please stop looking a gift horse in the mouth.”

P.S. Make sure you are both on the same page regarding finances BEFORE you are married.

DEAR ABBY: My 19-year-old son, who is on the spectrum but high-functioning, has left home. He’s legally an adult but wouldn’t allow me to teach him normal survival skills, such as balancing a checkbook, paying with a debit card, etc. He knows very little about the world; he learns from his online friends.

It has been four months, and he has now changed his phone number and won’t call, email or text. He moved across the country to live with an online friend. I’m very concerned about him. What should I do? I don’t email him often, but when I do, I just tell him I love him, and I never say anything negative. — LOST IN CALIFORNIA

DEAR LOST: Four months, you say? Assuming you have his current address, perhaps it is time for you — and his other parent, if he or she is in the picture — to pay the young man a visit to see how he’s doing. Because he won’t respond to phone calls, emails or texts, I don’t think you have a choice other than that.

(Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.)