I hate waiting. That isn’t an especially healthy attitude, I know. The funny thing is those who are impatient about waiting seem to find themselves with plenty of opportunities to practice! At least I find that’s the case for me.

French priest Saint Vincent DePaul wrote, “All comes at the proper time to him who knows how to wait.” So, I guess it’s something we can learn — so we’ll know how. Another writer (Ambrose Bierce) called patience “a minor form of despair disguised as a virtue.”

I seem to be in the despairing mode more than a patient one, unfortunately. But have you heard of the patience of Job, a man in the Bible’s Old Testament? That fellow was really patient and trusted God that things would get better, even as he waited and his pals held forth on all the reasons Job had to suffer, largely telling him it was his own fault. In the end, however, Job’s faith was rewarded.

Sometimes we only have to wait for a moment or two. At a red light. In line at the grocery store. Queued up at the coffee counter or drive-through. Such hold-ups can feed our sense of impatience but they don’t really last all that long.

Other waits are more serious. A delayed phone call or time spent in a doctor’s waiting room regarding a serious medical test. A hospital while a loved one undergoes surgery. Awaiting word from a family member serving in the military. Anxiety surely exacerbates such waits, understandably so.

I am currently awaiting a response to an email. Following a time of regular back and forth communication with a colleague in another state who is helping me pursue publication of my next book, it’s now been several days since I’ve heard from him. I don’t know why. And that makes me apprehensive.

When waiting with today’s methods of contact, we expect instant feedback and often get it, especially with those who are attached to social media, text options and various devices. When the two-way flow stops, you imagine all sorts of things, at least I do. Have I been blocked? Did I say or do something wrong or offensive? Is my device not working right? Then it escalates. Are they all right? Did something happen to them?

The reality is likely my mentor is just working on his part of our process, likely while also tending to life’s other commitments and distractions. Could be, he has a procrastination issue at times, like I do. Still, waiting makes me anxious, not because of my book or the work he’s doing, but because I don’t know why I haven’t heard back and I am worried about him and his family.

How we wait can impact that sense of anxiety while we wonder what’s happening. At first, I was checking my email every half-hour, tamping down an uneasiness and growing apprehension with each try. It’s hard to control, especially for one prone to anxiety. It helped my stress, however, to see other emails still showing up in my Inbox, so the system is apparently still functioning. I finally told myself my friend will reappear when he’s ready. I hope it’s soon. It helped when I was able to get to work on another project. The famous poet Henry Wadsworth Longfellow wrote, “Learn to labor and to wait.” Sometimes we need a distraction while waiting. We need to stay busy and it’s best when it’s something productive. It can help take our mind off the passing of time.

A continuous fearful stance is counterproductive to a contented life and that includes times when I have to wait. It’s not fun to worry and to begin to imagine wild or improbable things. An old Estonian proverb notes, “What you are afraid of overtakes you.” It’s why we’re often told to face our fears so we aren’t controlled by them.

This is not an easy process by any means. Life experience has shown sometimes bad things DO happen. I’ve certainly experienced this, likely so have you. Growth often follows having to undergo life’s trials. But why expend a lot of energy expecting the worst when it’s not the typical outcome?

It’s a new day and I still haven’t heard back from my friend, even after attempts at contact. But I saw another proverb that goes, “The future belongs to him who knows how to wait.” In many situations, it’s a lot about trusting God for the outcome. The Bible’s Ecclesiastes 3:1 reminds us, “To everything there is a season, and a time to every purpose under heaven.”

I believe it, even when it involves waiting. I am also remembering something I recently heard about how God may delay, but he doesn’t forget. So, it’s back to engaging in other activities while I wait — and to pray a little and hope everything will soon work out.

I will also repeat one of my all-time favorite quotes by Rabindranath Tagore: “Faith is the bird that feels the light and sings when the dawn is still dark.”

(Contact contributor Deb Wuethrich of Portville, N.Y. at deborahmarcein@gmail. com)