For the first year and a half he was at Penn State, Journey Brown was in a fog.

He was struggling to learn things on the football field and in the classroom. He wasn’t having fun. He couldn’t focus. His mind often seemed far, far away.

Because it was, about 160 miles away from State College. Tragedy was striking his family too frequently back home in Meadville in Crawford County.

Between Brown’s arrival at Penn State as a freshman in June 2017 and November 2019, he lost a grandmother, two aunts, an uncle, two cousins and one of his very best friends. With each death, he dug deeper to find strength and purpose.

“Life is all about perspective,” he said Tuesday. “You can handle it the wrong way or the right way. If you look at stuff in a positive way, I think you can overcome and do whatever you need to do.

“The mind is a powerful thing. I guess I turned every negative or loss into a positive.”

Journey Brown found himself after losing all that he’s lost. He goes into the Nittany Lions’ truncated 2020 season as one of the top running backs in the Big Ten after his sensational late-season performance last year.

No one at Penn State is more excited for the start of full-contact, full-pads practice Wednesday than Brown.

“Tomorrow is going to be like when you go on a nice little date with your girl,” he said. “You sit down and re-light those flames. It’s going to be fantastic just getting back into the groove of things.

“This is what we love to do. If we didn’t, none of us would be here.”

Brown wasn’t sure if he’d stay at Penn State, even as recently as two years ago. He was fifth on the depth chart, behind Miles Sanders, Ricky Slade, Johnathan Thomas and Mark Allen.

Two events changed the direction of his career. The first came on Sept. 21, 2018, at Illinois, in the fourth quarter of a Penn State rout. With less than two minutes to go, he sprinted around right end for a 6-yard touchdown, the first of his career.

“I don’t think I’ll ever forget it,” he said. “When I scored that touchdown, the switch went on in my head that I can be that guy. I had to switch my thinking. I had to stop being comfortable with being comfortable.

“I really feel that things began to click for me. I told myself, ‘You love playing football, not sitting behind and waiting.’ I really started going crazy when my grandma passed away.”

Helen Leona McCracken, who had a leading role in raising Brown, died the following month at the age of 76. According to him, she attended his football and basketball games and his track meets, encouraging him and prodding him to reach his potential.

Because his grandmother’s health was deteriorating, she was constantly on Brown’s mind during his first 18 months at Penn State. He checked on her condition almost every day.

“When my grandma passed away, I was OK,” he said. “When she passed away, I felt then I could focus 100% on football.”

Brown was still a reserve, though, when last season began. Slade started the opener, but he struggled. Brown rushed for 109 yards against Pitt in his first start, but freshman Noah Cain appeared to be the best back in midseason.

Cain, though, got hurt at Michigan State, giving Brown an opening that he seized. He started at Minnesota and rushed for 124 yards and two touchdowns in a 31-26 loss, cementing his position as the No. 1 back.

“I felt I had prepared myself for that game,” he said. “I never felt more ready for an opportunity like that. I feel like I showcased it. I ended up taking my confidence to another level the last few games of the season.”

In the final five games of 2019, he carried 78 times for 593 yards, a 7.6 average and nine touchdowns.

“The last four or five games — and I know I’m biased — but I thought Journey Brown was playing as good as any running back in the country,” Penn State running back Ja’Juan Seider said earlier this year.

Brown played with a heavy heart against Rutgers in the regular season finale last November. Six days earlier, his 17-year-old cousin, Paige Fabela died. He responded by running for 103 yards and three scores.

“That one probably hurt me the most because he was young and it was unexpected,” he said. “I tried to look at it as a positive. He’s in a better place now. He’s with his mom and his grandma. He’s always going to be watching me.”

A month later, Brown ran for 202 yards, a Penn State bowl record, and two touchdowns in the Cotton Bowl win over Memphis, raising expectations for this season.

“It showed people the back that I am and the back that I knew I was,” he said. “It showed people that I’m not just a fast back or whatever they want to say. I’m able to run with balance and agility, whatever you need.

“I did it for myself. I proved that the people who criticized me were wrong and the people who believed in me were right.”