For decades we’ve been telling adolescents why they need to stay in school but let’s be honest … this approach hasn’t worked so well. I believe we need to move our focus from why, to what and how. What do our children hope to achieve in life and how does staying in school help them reach their goals? Not our goals but their goals.

Motivation is an intrinsic value; you can’t give it to me. If you’re getting married and you decide to lose weight, then there’s a good chance you might be motivated to diet or join a gym. People who are overweight understand the benefits of losing weight, but if it’s not their goal, it’s not going to happen.

So, how can we help adolescents establish goals? It needs to be something they believe is achievable. In many instances their goals may not be something we think is reasonable (professional athlete, artist, musician, etc.), but that’s not the battle we need to win. Our challenge is to demonstrate the connection between a good education and how staying in school will help them reach those goals.

With my background, it’s reasonable to assume I enjoyed school, but it’s not true. I saw college as a necessary evil to enter a professional career that would pay well. I guess the materialistic goal of a good income isn’t very enlightening, but it was sufficient motivation to get me through college. At the age of 40 I decided I wanted to teach at the college level and that required a master’s degree. That goal was important enough that I made the commitment to attend night school for six years. If we can help adolescents find meaningful goals, they just might be motivated to do what it takes to get there.

I don’t believe college is the best path for everyone. I’m a strong advocate for vocational careers. Being a plumber, operating heavy equipment or being an auto mechanic are excellent goals for many. Although a formal degree may not be required, they do call for the skills to research solutions and keep up with technical advancements. If becoming an independent contractor is a goal considered achievable, they may be motivated to attend an accounting class that will show them how to manage money.

I never suggested creating this “aha” moment would be easy, but we already know that telling them what to do hasn’t worked.

I think parents resort to telling because we don’t know what else to do. The Internet is an obvious place to start, but finding a mentor or entering an apprenticeship program is the optimal solution. The objective is to have them experience what knowledge, resources and education are required to help them get to where they want to be. We can guide students to the right resources, but ultimately they need to make the connection between staying in school and reaching their goals.

Some of you may be thinking: Isn’t this the responsibility of the schools? Before we invest too much energy in placing blame, I’m going to suggest a collaborative initiative between parents, schools and the business community. Let’s face it, I’m not the first person to think of this idea, but it’s difficult to build bridges when we all have so many competing priorities. This column provides me with the unique opportunity to reach out to community resources and coordinate such an effort.

I am willing to organize an event that will bring us all together to explore ways to help adolescents make better choices. If you’re willing to spend one evening of your time for this purpose, please send me an email at bill@stoneassociatestraining.com and I will coordinate the resources to make this happen. If you have children, grandchildren or friends with children, please send them a copy of this column and encourage them to attend.

On many occasions I’ve encouraged readers to “just do it” and I’m trying to follow my own advice. I have no expectations of what we might be able to achieve, but I’m excited about the possibilities.

One evening, one hour and one worthwhile goal — let’s do it.

Kaminski is president of Stone Associates Training. He is an HR consultant with 35 years of experience in the employment field, teaching managers the art of hiring great employees. He also is an adjunct instructor at Keuka College. You can contact him with your questions, suggestions and comments at bill@stoneassociatestraining.com.