Now there are two.
To the other 80 bowl teams we extend a fond farewell and perhaps a parting gift like a set of china or a toaster.
And who wouldn’t want a toaster as it’s the perfect appliance to make toast.
And speaking of toast — Michigan State was charred beyond recognition to the tune of 38-0 by Alabama on New Year’s Eve. What was up with that Sparty? About halfway through that slaughter the Big Ten representative was in dire need of a Snickers Bar.
All last week the good citizens of East Lansing were boo-hooing because Sparty was a 10-point underdog versus the Crimson Tide. They believed Rodney Dangerfield got more respect. Well guess what? No respect needed and none given.
The other semifinal was a bit of a shocker as Clemson blew away those dust-eaters from Oklahoma 37-17. As it turned out the Joads had an easier trip out to California.
And who the heck is Dabo Swinney? Was he the Demon Barber of Fleet Street? No. That was Sweeney Todd.
William Christopher Swinney is the head coach of undefeated Clemson and was once a walk-on football player at Alabama where he lived in a dorm with his mother. You read that right. Mom.
That arrangement probably didn’t work out so well as Swinney would hang a towel on the room door for some privacy and mom kept washing the towel.
As a child Swinney got the nickname Dabo when his two-year-old brother couldn’t say “that boy.” What a knucklehead kid.
*****
The two hot spots for the National Championship on Monday between Alabama and Clemson should be in their respective cities.
Crimson Tide fans can flock over to 15th Avenue in Tuscaloosa to Dreamland Bar-B-Que for some southern fried chicken and ribs. Umm…Can you pass me the baked beans and coleslaw?
Dreamland opened in 1958 and ironically that was the same year legendary coach Paul “Bear” Bryant began coaching at Alabama. Fancy that.
The establishment was founded by John “Big Daddy” Bishop, who at the time was torn between the restaurant business or opening a mortuary. Either way he would encounter ribs on a slab.
On Old Greenville Highway in the lovely South Carolina city of Clemson, the Tiger faithful can frequent The Esso Club, which was rated by ESPN The Magazine as one of the top party bars in the country.
The Esso Club has “Fanger Foods” and on Monday it will be Mojito Night, which contains white rum, sugar, lime juice, club soda and mint. I did not know that. I gotta get out more.
Although I don’t drink beer, I was interested in The Esso Club’s domestic beer menu listing a Hopsecutioner. Sounds dangerous.
The India Pale Ale is brewed by the Terrapin Beer Company of Athens (GA) and is bitter with a malty backbone with a full body and a creamy head. That’s what the web site said.
*****
Monday’s National Championship
Glendale (AZ)
ESPN (8:30 p.m.)
#1 Clemson (14-0) vs. #2 Alabama (13-1)
I forgot to mention the title game is sponsored by AT&T. Please give them your undying support. Give them a call. They need the money.
This is a tough contest to predict. On one hand it should be Alabama in a rout resembling the rugby beating the schoolmasters gave the young boys in that Monty Python movie.
Conversely the Clemson Tigers didn’t land in the desert unbeaten using smoke, mirrors or full bodied Hopsecutioners.
Here’s the deciding factor. Jim Nabors, who played Gomer Pyle in the late sixties TV series, graduated from Alabama in 1951. Shazam. Sur-prise, sur-prise, sur-prise…Alabama by 10.
