Addiction is not just about the form of self-medicating a person
may be using, it is also about the mental, physical and spiritual
self that may have led to the addiction.

Those are the words of one member of a group of individuals who
have sought help in the Intensive Outpatient Program (IOP) at
Bradford Recovery Systems, which is part of Bradford Regional
Medical Center.

“I have been in recovery programs (in the past). I needed
something more in depth,” said Bill, an alcoholic. “The triggers
may be rooted emotionally in areas I never addressed.

“My head is like a bad neighborhood – if I go in there I might
get mugged,” he added with a laugh.

Bill and three other current and former participants of the IOP
– who are only being identified by their first names to protect
their privacy – sat down with The Era to discuss their addictions
and progress, and sometimes relapse, while battling their chemical
or mental dependence. They came forward in an effort to promote
National Alcohol and Drug Addiction Recovery Month.

One woman in the group, who will be referred to as “Holly,” said
she has moved from one addiction to another throughout her
life.

“I have been addicted to something as long as I can remember,”
she said. “It could have been food, spending, alcohol and drugs –
from one to another.”

This is her second attempt at participating in the program at
Bradford Recovery Systems as she admits to relapsing for a week
after having been in the program since July.

“When I came back to the program I was nervous, I saw myself as
a failure,” she continued. “But they were both supportive and told
me it was the best decision I have ever made. They said ‘you are
doing what is right’ and I appreciate that about the program.”

The “they” she is speaking of are Christi Visneski, a certified
registered nurse, and Jess Clark, a mental health therapist, who
meet with group members three days a week for eight weeks and
sometimes as individuals.

“Holly” adds that she is now working on self-esteem issues that
she has not before worked on. She relates a childhood history where
both of her parents were alcoholics, so she is susceptible to
alcoholism, but adds that her environment helped to foster low
self-esteem issues.

“I never came up to my parents’ expectations. But you can’t keep
looking back,” she said. “That’s what they teach you – it’s over,
so I don’t keep beating myself up over it. And that’s not to wash
over the mistakes. It’s more of looking at what you can do
next.”

After hearing a peer (Michele Robinson) speak to a reporter,
“Holly” told her how much she admired her courage and her strength
and told her that she believes that Robinson would be great at
speaking to junior and senior high school students – which is one
of Robinson’s future goals – to help others stay sober.

Robinson’s addiction is crack-cocaine and she said she spent
about 10 years of her life “give or take” using it – she is no
longer a participant in the Bradford Recovery Systems program but
comes back to give a two hour presentation to new groups every six
to eight weeks. She has been sober for three years and seven
months.

She explains she was arrested on a drug sale and went to jail.
While out on bail, she contacted the IOP group and started their
program before being sent to prison for 15 months.

“I didn’t know who I was before I came to this group. I had a
people pleasing issue – low self esteem, co-dependency issues,”
said Robinson. “The ‘distributors’ (of drugs) will pick up on that
and will make you a target.

“But I have found I don’t need approval anymore, I am very
confident today,” added Robinson. “I can say no to people now.”

Robinson describes a childhood that most would dream of,
athletics, good grades and honors, a close family, but adds that
type of life and over-protection can also be a detriment to a young
adult’s life.

She said as soon as she was out on her own in college, she took
advantage of the “free” life.

“I was an easy target. I was naive,” she said. “Interaction with
others was new to me and I was willing to do whatever it took to
fit in.

“This program saved my life, but you put into it what you want
to get out of it,” she added. “I know if I absolutely needed to
call someone, their phone is open. They will go out of their way to
help you.”

Ron, an alcoholic, has been sober for more than 2 1/2 years. He
spent a little more time at the IOP program than most not only
because of his insurance coverage, but because he felt he needed
more time to get to know himself.

“I have mental health problems as well as alcoholism and I
stayed because I didn’t work so I may as well learn more about
myself,” said Ron. “It requires everything you have to stay sober
you have to change your life completely.

“My sobriety depends wholly on my willingness, open-mindedness
and honesty,” he added. “Being sober was like I was watching
someone else. I needed to understand why. If you are not ready to
make that change, you could be in recovery (programs) for 90
years.”

All in the program agreed that even though they are sober today,
they don’t understand what makes them slip back into using.

“Relapse can begin before you pick up,” said Bill. “Not using
doesn’t mean you are doing well. A good program can help.”